Review a Bad Game Day: My Hero

I totally forgot about the Review a Bad Game Day! Even though I’ve gotten several reminders on my Twitter, but I just saw Alana’s review of Total Recall and remembered it! So here’s a shitty game in my opinion!

My Hero for the Sega Master System:

A bunch of seedy Punks try to steal your girl. Battle knife throwers, ferocious bulldogs, flying bottles, even the gang leader – Mohikan. Hopelessly overwhelming? Take heart. You have incredible kung fu skills. But the punks have your girl.

Now that’s the story. Here’s the truth:
A never ending army of millions of annoying sprinting hunchbacks stole your girlfriend. Dagger throwing fucktards, pissy tenants dropping bottles from windows on the second floor,  bouncing star-balls of doom.. with spikes and stairs that reach to your chin and are lethal deathtraps!! Completely overwhelming, nei, impossible! I can’t take heart, my kung-fu skills are poor, and the punks can keep that stupid girl who gets herself kidnapped! >_<

They come from all directions and they are faster than you! They also come without a pattern so it’s a hit or miss..

Dagger throwing and bottle dropping assholes..

Spikeballs of Doom

Chin-high stairs

It’s a Lethal Death Trap!!

Now, the hordes of enemies coming at you are impossible to dodge. You will die eventually, and expect it to be fast. I even stopped just to see if they would keep coming and they did. I tried all different strategies I could think of, but I couldn’t make it past the staircase death-trap. I only got there once as well.. o_O

The controls are slow, everything moves fast except for your character, he is just strolling around like he had no worries, and he has a punch on one of the buttons (this one is useless! the reach is barely existent and the enemies will charge at you so fast he won’t have time to pull out his fist out of his ass!) and the second button is a jump-kick. This one kills on the way up and on the way down. Most efficient, however still it puts you in certain death situations. You have one opportunity to turn within your jump, and that’s when you’re right in the middle of the jump, if you have guys coming up behind you and you missed to turn around midair they will come straight at you from behind! >_< Kung Fu skills my ass! This guy is wearing what looks like a blue suit and has blond fluffy styled hair, I bet the only skills he has is either something to do with accounting or tying his tie.

Also where are the ferocious bulldogs? Not that I would say I am missing them, there are ENOUGH enemies in this game already! But I wasn’t even able to get so far as to encounter any dogs or the Mohikan for that matter..

From this game you can expect a shitty impossible challenge, with annoying music that just repeats and repeats, frustration and dying over and over and over and over and over and over and over again… and again.. and some more!

And to top it all off, the whole game is puke green as far as I’ve seen…

12 thoughts on “Review a Bad Game Day: My Hero

  1. Heh. I remember my younger brother actually finishing this junker back around 1990 or so, but it took a long time and man, was he one angry kid during that process. When i finally tried it, i couldn’t get past that damn first level, so yeah, this game has always been on my hit list.

    It reminds me a bit of Riot Zone on the TG-16, but that game was more funny and dumb than frustrating. Maybe My Hero is that generation’s Muzzle Flash. Than again, i wouldn’t wish THAT game on anybody:

      • My brother was just really stubborn when playing games that annoyed him like this one, so he HAD to beat it because it was so crappy. I forget how long it took (I think it was over a week or so), but it was longer than usual for that type of game.

        I can remember going with him to pick up The Terminator for the Genesis and it took us longer to get to and from the game store than it did for him to finish the game (I think he did it in 45 minutes).

        And yeah, Riot Zone is SUPER stiff. It plays like it looks, but worse because your poor hands will be cramping up before the first stage is complete and shaking like the two heroes walk…

  2. Are you ready for it? I beat My Hero! Yay! …but it still sucks.
    Actually I don’t think you can really beat it. I think it’s one of those games that loops. I had it when it was new and I was so disappointed that I felt I had to beat it in order to get my money’s worth. I remember being soooo pissed off when I’d get to the end boss (on the beach at sunset) and lose and then have to do the level over again. This happened many times.
    When you finally beat him you get to play the same level again except it gets a little harder with a few new elements thrown in.
    Once I (sort of) beat it I sold it.
    I was also burned by Transbot which is a much easier game but it also loops through two levels. I never bought a card game again until I was collecting them.

    • Ah… now I know why he was so pissed off! I recall my brother saying something about the game not having an ending, but I thought he meant he got some “thank you for playing!” screen or something like that. As for Transbot… eek. I did actually complete that and when I saw that same opening level pop up again, yeah, that was it.

      I think Spy vs. Spy was an OK card game, but I barely remember it these days…

      • I’ve only played spy vs spy in multiplayer on famicom.. and I don’t get it >_< I understand that you can hide stuff and kill the other player, but it ruins the fun when you can see each others screens o_O

    • I don’t believe it! damn.. that’s crazy.. are you some kind of video-game-genius? haha ^_^
      That sucks though, that it just loops :( I hate that, you never get a sense of accomplishment >_<

      • Yeah, I’m pretty sure there is no real ending. So it’s a good thing you put the game down.
        You made an excellent choice for ‘Review a Bad Game Day’.
        Good job! :)

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