Review a Bad Game Day: My Hero

I totally forgot about the Review a Bad Game Day! Even though I’ve gotten several reminders on my Twitter, but I just saw Alana’s review of Total Recall and remembered it! So here’s a shitty game in my opinion!

My Hero for the Sega Master System:

A bunch of seedy Punks try to steal your girl. Battle knife throwers, ferocious bulldogs, flying bottles, even the gang leader – Mohikan. Hopelessly overwhelming? Take heart. You have incredible kung fu skills. But the punks have your girl.

Now that’s the story. Here’s the truth:
A never ending army of millions of annoying sprinting hunchbacks stole your girlfriend. Dagger throwing fucktards, pissy tenants dropping bottles from windows on the second floor,  bouncing star-balls of doom.. with spikes and stairs that reach to your chin and are lethal deathtraps!! Completely overwhelming, nei, impossible! I can’t take heart, my kung-fu skills are poor, and the punks can keep that stupid girl who gets herself kidnapped! >_<

They come from all directions and they are faster than you! They also come without a pattern so it’s a hit or miss..

Dagger throwing and bottle dropping assholes..

Spikeballs of Doom

Chin-high stairs

It’s a Lethal Death Trap!!

Now, the hordes of enemies coming at you are impossible to dodge. You will die eventually, and expect it to be fast. I even stopped just to see if they would keep coming and they did. I tried all different strategies I could think of, but I couldn’t make it past the staircase death-trap. I only got there once as well.. o_O

The controls are slow, everything moves fast except for your character, he is just strolling around like he had no worries, and he has a punch on one of the buttons (this one is useless! the reach is barely existent and the enemies will charge at you so fast he won’t have time to pull out his fist out of his ass!) and the second button is a jump-kick. This one kills on the way up and on the way down. Most efficient, however still it puts you in certain death situations. You have one opportunity to turn within your jump, and that’s when you’re right in the middle of the jump, if you have guys coming up behind you and you missed to turn around midair they will come straight at you from behind! >_< Kung Fu skills my ass! This guy is wearing what looks like a blue suit and has blond fluffy styled hair, I bet the only skills he has is either something to do with accounting or tying his tie.

Also where are the ferocious bulldogs? Not that I would say I am missing them, there are ENOUGH enemies in this game already! But I wasn’t even able to get so far as to encounter any dogs or the Mohikan for that matter..

From this game you can expect a shitty impossible challenge, with annoying music that just repeats and repeats, frustration and dying over and over and over and over and over and over and over again… and again.. and some more!

And to top it all off, the whole game is puke green as far as I’ve seen…

Scanning and sorting.. Hajya no Fuuin

Collecting japanese games is always a bit tricky, especially if you don’t know any japanese. Fortunately I studied it for 4 years and lived in Tokyo for a little while, hence I can read all the Hiragana and Katakana which are phonetic alphabets. The Kanji’s however are difficult, I only know a few basic ones. Most Famicom games which contain Kanji’s in the name have tiny Hiragana above the Kanjis so you will be able to pronounce it even if you don’t know that particular Kanji.

Like for example on this Altered Beast game:

I don’t know those Kanji’s but above it I can read that it says “Jyu u o u ki”, hence I can sort them game in my excel spreadsheet alphabetically, written in both roman letters and Kanji. The joy! (I’m kind of a freak when it comes to keeping things in order..)

However, one game has really pissed  me off for a couple of weeks now.. namely this one:

It says Fantasy Role Playing, and then the name of the game is in Kanji, without the help of Hiragana or Katana. I was googling and searching through lists of alla ASCII Corp games and alla Kogado Studio games but couldn’t find anything!! Eventually I remembered my japanese digital dictionary that I bought to help my studies!

This thing sure is a blessing! At the bottom you can actually write a Kanji on the touchpad and it will tell you how it’s pronounced and what it means! :D So I tried to write out these Kanjis:

And after some trial and error I finally got a bit of the name and was able to google it to get the whole thing.

A few hours later I remembered something Alana had told me about Googling pictures.. I went to try it out and WOW! I just dragged and dropped the image there and it gave me the name o_O

And I could just copy past the Kanjis into a Kanji converter online which would give me the pronunciation. Why didn’t I try this out earlier?!

It sure saved me a lot of hours today though, because I’ve been scanning and sorting for three days! All my Famicom cartridges now have a picture on my computer labeled with the correct name!

I am hoping to get up a page on my blog where I can help people out by finding names of japanese games by just looking up the image of the cartridge, with big pictures of each game cartridge and name in English / Roman letters / and in japanese plus adding publisher (such as Konami or Namco etc) and what type of game it is! I will also add an extra page with games I have doubles of, in case anybody would wish to trade ^_^

Apart from this three day scanning and sorting project I have acquired a Super Mario Bros. 3 Poster that came from the Swedish Nintendo Magazine back when the game was released. It’s so pretty! :D

And my boyfriend also found my old Nintendo CarryAll case, I haven’t seen it for years! And inside along with a manual and some other stuff I found this pretty poster of the Nintendo Game Plan with ROB! :D